I keep rewriting my homepage. I have no idea what to put on here…. Hello? A little bit about myself? What the blog is about? My reason for doing a blog? My purpose? I have few answers for any of them.
I have decided to stay anonymous. Partly my job. Partly my family. Mostly for myself. I feel my writing is more pure, honest and raw when I have no ties to my real life.
I am trying to discover who I am. I struggle with knowing my purpose, why I am living the life I am, and sometimes wonder if I should pack it all up and start afresh somewhere new, which probably isn’t a good idea. So a blog to gain some perspective is probably better.
I suffer from mild depression, it was worse 8 years ago when my friend died and I had a manipulative and emotionally abusive boyfriend (which I didn’t realise until my depression had eased significantly). However, the ex did leave a calling card in the form of social anxiety including low esteem and no confidence. Absolute charmer isn’t he. So now, I am slowly but surely building myself back to the person I am. I can’t be the person I was, too much has changed, so I am trying to learn who I am now. Which proves difficult. So I am using this blog to help collect my thoughts and work out ‘me’.
Part of this involves a list on here called “Something New?” and I will be aiming to try each of these things at least once, to help my gain some perspective, find a new path, and maybe find something that interests me and makes me happy.
My writing probably isn’t any good. I’m new at this, so I’m learning, I am sure I will improve with time. It can also be a bit disjointed, have no direction, or waffle, or go off on a tangent – but I write as I think so it is just the way my brain works.
I’m not expecting anyone to read any of my blog. It’s not necessarily intended for an audience and I created it to help myself and clear my head. However, should you read any of it and find it amusing, tragic or simply odd then thank you for taking time out of your day to give it a read.
Not sure what else to say…